Hair (not Long but still Beautiful)

I cut off my hair. Not all of it – there’s about an inch or so on the top, but the sides and back are trimmed very close.

I’m nearly 40. I weigh more than is healthy (just over 285 lbs). And I don’t look good with short hair.

Well…okay, so maybe the last part isn’t true.

I have a friend who needs a wheelchair and doesn’t always feel attractive. At some point in her life, she decided to ask herself the following question every time she wanted to do something, but didn’t feel like it was appropriate for her:

“what if I was beautiful what would I do then?”

Well, I love that. So much. I’m almost 40 and I have spent probably my entire life not feeling pretty enough, skinny enough, healthy enough to do things. I have low self-esteem. I am not self-confident. I am not pleased with my weight or my body shape (most of the time).

But I’ve always wanted really, really short hair! Like buzzed to within millimeters of my scalp short, really. And I’ve been afraid of people staring at me, or of my boss being angry, or my coworkers laughing at me.

But what my friend said stuck. And I was feeling really good on Wednesday, and again on Thursday, so I did it.

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I am thrilled with it. It’s shorter in the back than I asked for, but it will grow out, and I actively refuse to be anything but thrilled with it. I’m not worried what my boss is going to say. I didn’t worry what my coworkers were going to say (okay, I did a little). And anytime I’m asked if I got my hair cut, I get excited and smile (I usually don’t like my smile – so much gum) and explain the obvious:

Yes. All of them.

And yes, I like it.

Featured image by Brian Ceccato on Unsplash
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Well, that was awesome

The Diva Cup, Cycle 1, was overall a success!

Plus

I didn’t leak or need to use a pad or panty liner once. I used one the first day, actually, so that statement isn’t entirely true. But the rest of the time I purposely didn’t wear anything. All in or go home, or something. I had emergency backups along with the drawstring bag to store the cup if all went really horrible.

It was comfortable! Mostly. Especially today when I was reading online that one person flipped hers inside out, and suddenly everything was perfect. I did that, and Oh, wow. It was a game changer. Like, suddenly I didn’t even notice it, not even once. Not even a little! It was really, really good.

Minus

I have a low cervix or something, and that stupid stem irritated me like crazy. I trimmed a bit every day, just a little bit at a time. Before trimming it was awfully irritating. After the second trim it was almost there. After the third trim it was worse than before. Turning it inside out today was brilliant, but now I’m done, so I just trimmed the rest off. I’m going to file it smooth and be ready for next month.

Public restrooms, like at my office, were a challenge. Hypothetically you can just leave it be for 12 hours, but with that stupid stem in the way, wiping was a challenge. And I’ve been drinking a boatload of water, so…connect those dots. As the week went on, simply wiping the cup with toilet paper left it nearly too dry for reinsertion. While I did brave the trip from the toilet to the sink to rinse it at work twice, yeah. Not fun.

Results

I love it. I mean, after I figured out the stem is unnecessary for me, I loved it more. But even with irritation, it wasn’t truly painful for me. And I know maybe the Diva Cup isn’t the brand for me (after considerable Internet research), but I’m going to keep on it for a couple months because $40. The thing is not cheap, and I’m getting my money’s worth. (A package of my preferred pads for a month @ $7 + tampons for two months @ $12, $40 divided by $13 equals three months until my usual purchase habits make it a wash.)

And that is how it went!

Today’s adventures

I have never been as close to my menstrual cycle as I am today. I’m giving the Diva Cup a try, and it’s my first time, and it’s weird and unusual and unexpected, but not nearly as gross as I expected. I’m hoping I’ll end up loving it because this little piece of silicone was not cheap.

I’ve watched a few videos of other women talking about their experiences before this, so the oddness of today wasn’t completely unexpected. I’m hoping to get used to it soon and get to the point where it’s just another thing. Actually, the other thing I’m hoping is that by the time Monday rolls around, I’ll be comfortable enough to deal with this thing in public.

Yeah. We’ll see how that goes.

This was an ecological and a financial choice, by the way. I’m growing more and more irritated by the cost of feminine hygiene products, and how often it has to be purchased. I’m less frustrated by the amount of waste such things create, but that clearly is a concern as well. So if I can make this work, if this is one of those things that just revolutionizes my life and I never have to purchase another pad or tampon for myself again, I’m going to be a happy camper.

 

It was bad

I don’t know how I got it in my head. I think it was some kind of feminism thing where I decided I’m sick of shaving, and how much personal grooming am I doing because I think I have to, and how much because I want or need to?

I made a decision on that and legs? I want them shaved. My hair is dark, and I don’t like the feeling of it. But I also hate shaving. I hate that two days later, I have to do it again. I’m tall, so it’s not a little bit of real estate I’m talking about here.

And razors? Expensive! The good ones that don’t rust after one use are more, and *sigh*. It’s just too much.

So I bought an Epilady. I remember when they were new (though I was too young to be interested in them when they first came out), and they’ve been around forever. They aren’t the only toy on the market anymore, but I still went for the classic. I even went for the basic, because what if I hate it? What if it doesn’t work?

This morning, after my shower, I tried it. I did all the things they said (taught skin, exfoliate first, not before a shower, 90-degree angle to leg), and OW.

IT HURTS. They don’t joke about that. And I was prepared because I’ve tweezed leg hair before! I didn’t think this would be easy, at all, but still, I had to take breaks! In fact, I can still feel the sting this evening, and my legs are still somewhat red and blotchy where I shaved.

And I didn’t get it all. It seemed like it when I was shaving – sorry, epilating – this morning, but this evening I can tell there are a lot of hairs left.

There is a bright side, I promise.

I did a test section yesterday morning on my shin, just to check out everything and see what it was like. And in that section, where I did get all the hairs, it’s everything I wanted. Smooth, not irritated, and there’s no awful stubble. I am so happy, I can’t even say. The Epilady Speed delivered, my friends, and I am never going back to shaving if I can help it.

I may even make it past my knees next week. 🙂

(I took after pictures, but the bright red blotches didn’t show up well on the photographs in the lighting in my room. I’m still including them, though, because before I bought the Epilady, I was scouring the Internets, and bad pictures were just as interesting.)